Life of a postgraduate Law student: part 4

So today I received my final results for 2014, and let's just say they're as dismal as expected. I worked so hard, yet I failed so hard. Makes no sense, but I guess when your heart's not in it, you won't be very successful. And that goes for most things in life.

At this point in time I am no longer a Law student and to say I am relieved is an understatement. I am actually overjoyed (no offence to Law students, remember I think you guys are brave?) and ready to move on and forget this part of my life. In 2015 I will be doing my Postgraduate Certificate in Education, either at UCT or Stellenbosch. I have a feeling I'll do a thousand times better and I already have many things up my sleeve for the upcoming year. Perhaps I'll even have another series. Maybe a few lookposts. Who knows?

Watch this space.

Lisa-Marie

Life of a postgraduate Law student: part 3

So as you all know I will not be continuing with Law. For some that is a shock, for others it is an admirable move (since it doesn't suit my personality) while some people still think I am without a degree and still trying to find my feet. No, sorry, you are wrong. I already have a degree, I just feel that I need to add to it so I have more career options and opportunities.

Lately people have been more judgmental, and quite openly too. They will often say, "but weren't you doing something else?" or "what about the time you were doing Psychology? Didn't you want to be a Psychologist?" No, actually not. If you really knew me and took the time to get to know me and listen to me you would know that it was a filler course due to credits Stellenbosch would not accept from UCT, also the reason why my undergrad was extended by a year. I could've chosen pretty much anything, and Linguistics and Psychology were what I chose. Why not? Those subjects were very interesting and I learnt a lot of cool things, just like I am with Law. But I am still not in love with Law, it is still not my passion. Just like Psychology will never be my passion. Neither will every aspect of Linguistics, but I still love Neurolinguistics and how language develops in babies and young children. I do not feel that there is anything wrong with me adding more to what I already know. It helps me grow and makes for interesting dinner party conversation.

I know dropping out is bad and frowned upon, but since having more time on my hands, something amazing has happened. Since starting the second semester and deciding to drop out at the end of the year, I have started reading again. I have reignited my love for literature. It feels good, it makes my soul happy and also makes me realise that Education and teaching a subject I love is a far better option than being stuck in a rut. Law would do that to me, even if I tried everything in my power to not let that happen. It happened this year when my hair fell out, when I had insomnia, when I was always on the verge of tears. So yes, I may seem like I am indecisive, selfish and a bit of a brat. But I think choosing happiness over depression is a good call, on my part.

And I still bow down to those who are doing Law and loving it. You don't realise how brave you are.

Lisa-Marie

Life of a postgraduate Law student: part 2

As promised, it's the end of term two and I am back to update everyone. To be honest, I don't want to update anyone. To be honest, things are, or rather, were not going well for me at all. I have never failed so much in my entire life. Most people say I shouldn't be so upset, but how can I not be? It's difficult to accept that I studied for hours and then failed so hopelessly. Also, I noticed that I couldn't even stand the people in my class anymore - especially the undergraduates, not because of their age, but their arrogance and total disregard for their courses. I care so much and I do so badly, while they care so little, yet they at least get a 50%. I also realised that every, single time a lecturer said, "when you become a lawyer" or "when you appear in court", I would shudder and want to run for the hills, because to be honest, I do not want to be a lawyer AT ALL. I don't even want to have a Law degree or work in the legal world. Not a paralegal or a legal secretary. Nothing. It takes some people a few seconds to know that about themselves. It took me five months.

So, as a young adult, I had to learn from my mistakes and take some corageous steps. I wasn't planning on discontinuing this year, but was planning on doing so out next year. Then my uncle suddenly passed away, and I thought life is too short for me to do something I'm not happy with. I spoke to a counsellor and the Law faculty's secretary before making my decision, and by the Monday after my uncle's funeral I made a decision.

I didn't discontinue the entire year, but merely the second year subjects - I am now basically first year LLB (meaning I'll still have the option of returning next year, if I change my mind). I am fortunate that I already have a degree, so I can do any postgrad within my previous field of study or postgrad diplomas that will add to my existing qualification. I have already applied for a postgraduate diploma in Marketing (classes are 4 times a week, 17:00-19:00), and I am still planning on applying for a postgraduate certificate in Education (to teach high school) and possibly Journalism. Possibly. It's really not the be-all-and-end all because I have a few plans up my sleeve in that regard.

And at this point I really don't care if anyone is disappointed or appalled at my decision, because at the end of the day, it's my decision. I had to choose - my health and well-being or being stuck in a career where I will probably never be happy. And no, this year is not a waste, becoming more educated is never a waste. I have grown and learned so much.

I will continue with this series, because I am still a postgraduate Law student, and at the end of the series my decision and plans will be much clearer. For me and for everyone else.

Lastly, I want salute anyone who has done, or is still doing an LLB degree. You are brave people. Admirable people.

Lisa-Marie

My take on "Give it 100"

There is this initiative called Give it 100, where you are challenged to do something for 100 days and make 10 second videos of each day. You can pretty much do anything, some people do exercise and weight loss challenges, while others do simple things like telling their spouse that they love them or learning how to be a mom.

So I decided to do a challenge based on fitness and toning. I lost two dress sizes last year, in other words, a helluva lot of centimetres and I just never bothered toning up afterwards. When I came across Give it 100, I decided to go ahead and take part. However, I am not someone who enjoys being part of videos or talking for cameras. I prefer writing my thoughts and feelings down. And capturing the changes through pictures. So I am going to use my blog to track my 100 days.

I started this morning and couldn't even get through 20 minutes of Tae-bo. In fact, I still have to finish the 20 minutes before I can go ahead with my day one post.

For more information on Give it 100, visit their website - Give it 100

Hope I'll have a few others joining me, no matter what your challenge might be.

Lisa-Marie

The candle that changed my life...

Smells like heaven probably smells.

Okay, not really, it just smells really good. I smelt it in November sometime while Gershwin and I were doing our Christmas shopping, and I fell in love with the smell. The way I shrieked when I smelt it, I'm sure Gershwin went magenta behind me. But then I just forgot about it.

Anyway, so Christmas comes along and Gershwin brings a massive box filled with gifts. And the box was strangely heavy on the one side.

I open up the box and lo-and-behold, perched next to my study Bible (Life Application Bible purchased from CUM Books) is this candle. Don't get me wrong, I was extremely happy for the study Bible, kimono (Cotton On), Ferrero Rochers, cashew nuts and Maroon 5 CD. But the fact that he actually bought me the candle made me smile from ear-to-ear. I always have some sort of idea of what I'm getting, but this candle was a complete surprise!

It smells like what heaven probably smells like and I thank Woolworths for creating such magnificence. I sometimes take off the lid for the day and leave the candle open in my room, and when I get home, the room is filled with that heavenly scent. It instantly lifts my mood, especially when I've had a triple period of Private Law! I lit it today while I was studying Criminal Law and it relaxed me instantly, whilst giving my room such a refreshing, heavenly scent (there I go with that heaven simile again).

So do yourself a favour, ladies and gents. Buy this candle or any other candle or product in this range.

Woolworths Garden Flowers Scented Candle: stargazer lily, hibiscus & berries

R99.95

  The range also includes shower gel, body lotion, hand wash, talc, hand & nail cream and eau de toilette. With price range of between R75.00 and R180.00.

Pay day is soon, so you know where I may be heading (I really want that hand & nail cream).

Lisa-Marie

Life of a postgraduate Law student: Part 1

On 11 December 2013 I graduated with a BA Language and Culture (majoring in English and Theatre Studies) at Stellenbosch University.

Mom and dad in the background (my biggest support)

Throughout 2013 I had my heart set on becoming a Journalist. I love writing, so I figured writing for a living would be perfect for me, leading me to apply for Honours in Journalism. However, things didn't work out as planned. The Journalism department commended me on my writing, but they weren't impressed with my minimal general knowledge (even though my nerves only got the better of me - leading me to forget half of the things I knew)and my lack of experience. The interview clearly went downhill (as you can see) and I left feeling like I was pretty useless.

Nevertheless, I picked myself up again and decided to go ahead with a Postgrad LLB (an application I filled in for fun, might I add). I never thought the Law faculty would even consider me, but when they did I was pretty impressed with myself and I decided to take the plunge after being rejected from Journalism. I visited a career guidance counsellor before deciding and he said one of two things could happen this year. One, I could fall in love with Law and find a passion I never knew I had (like Elle Woods? You know?). Or two, I could simply hate it and then I'd still have the option of applying for Journalism or a similar postgrad in 2015.

So far, so good. No, I lie. It's just okay. A Law degree is no joke, especially at postgrad level. I am doing two years in one this year and it's not fun. At all. Interesting, yes. But fun and easy, no. I've learned so much in this first term, that I feel like my head is about to explode with legal terms and Law jargon. And maybe Law isn't exactly what I want to do, but I need a year to decide that. Two months just isn't enough to just say, "oh well, I'm leaving".

So as an escape and a way of making a decision about my future, I have decided to document my experience. This will be the first of a four part series. I will keep you all updated at the end of every term. Offer support, comment, let me know what you think.

Lisa-Marie

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Yes, your boyfriend can indeed be your role model.

Tonight Gershwin receives his undergraduate degree and I can't help but feel a sense of pride knowing that he is my boyfriend. I have seen him grow from being a nervous little first year, overwhelmed by all his new work to becoming a wise young man, who works hard to achieve excellence. I see how he is still working hard this year, even harder in fact and I feel honoured to be able to witness such greatness at work. 

He is currently in his third month of his Honours degree in Accounting and it feels like he's already been busy for two years! So each weekend I watch as he dedicates most of his time to his studies. In the week I only speak to him once or twice a day and sometimes he is too stressed to say much, but I just need to make sure he's still breathing and then I can continue with my day.

Despite not seeing him as often as usual and sometimes not speaking all day, I don't even feel neglected or unloved because even though he is constantly busy, he still makes time for me and our special moments together. Through this he has taught me how important balance is in ones life and how you can be successful and achieve anything if you just put your mind to it, get your head in the game (cliche, I know) and basically, work your butt off.

I feel honoured to see how God has worked in Gershwin's life and how He will continue to lead him on the right path because as is said in Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 

If Gershwin keeps that in mind, like I know he does then only greater things will come.

Not only is this amazing young man a role model for many of the youth in our families and among our friends, he is also my role model. So yes, your boyfriend can be your role model.

2013

So we all survived 2012, the World didn't end and life as we all know it went on. The time never stood still, meteors didn't coming crashing to the Earth (although I heard on the radio that there may be a meteor fall this week - so heads up) and Godzilla didn't eat us all. Yes, we are still standing and yes, we are now almost in March. How time flies, they all say.

9Gag Baby

With that said, let's look at it like this, we're all still alive so let's live our lives with a purpose. Make every day a day to remember. For myself this year is all about change - I want to continue my beautiful spiritual journey with God, I want to be the best student and student assistant that I can be, I want to see Gershwin, myself and my friends graduate and I want to see all those I know have a successful year ahead. And no, this post is not about my resolutions, because I don't believe human beings should limit themselves to resolutions, we should rather live each day as it comes. And besides, if these were my resolutions, they'd be a bit too late.

This post is rather about what I want to achieve through the help of God, my family and friends. I know and have full confidence that I will graduate at the end of this year and I know that I will get into the Honours programme I desire. This is my year for achievements, a year to make permanent changes, that will continue to benefit me in years to come. This will be the year where I make lasting friends and this is the year that I will strive to keep them. I will also continue to keep my head above water and stay positive through everything, no matter how rough things may become, what's the point of stressing when I know things are out of my control.

So I am a new me, a new Lisa, not completely, but enough to make a difference.

Becoming a Godparent (and its lessons)

On 23 September 2012 I became a godparent which means I am somehow a parent, even though not directly. If I think about it, it’s all a little daunting for my very young, 21-year-old self – if my godson’s parents should pass away or become so irresponsible that he has to be taken away from them then he ultimately is my responsibility, and yes, I’ll have an instant child (without having to fall pregnant or give birth).

Some would say this is the ideal way to become a parent without all the hardships of motherhood, often referring to the process of giving birth and dealing with what was meant to be a bundle of joy, but is now a screaming, pink thing. You see, I actually want all of that – I want to feel the baby inside me, seeing how the baby and my belly grow (and not caring about my expanding waistline), and despite all the traumatic stories I’ve heard about childbirth from family and friends I want to give birth to my baby. I want to experience it all, maybe not 6 times, but I definitely want to experience pregnancy and childbirth at least twice in my life. I want to experience it all because of the mothers I know, my mother once told me that after you give birth all the pain just disappears when you see your new-born baby - I've heard that that moment is the only time in your life when you will experience love at first sight.

However, becoming a godmother and having to babysit my godson has been a blessing for me in so many ways and has taught me so much about babies and children.  Many times I have had to babysit my godson and his older sister (who is four going on thirty), especially during the time when their mother was burnt after a hot water bottle burst – she had third degree burns from just above her lower back up to the middle of her back. Looking after a four-month-old baby and very active and bossy four-year-old had proved to be very difficult for her, especially after a trip to the day hospital. This is when she asked me to look after them.

The four-year-old was easy to look after and very easy to please, all she wanted was some hot chocolate and toasted cheese. My godson, on the other hand, proved to be the child that would be more challenging to take care of. He would arrive at 7AM, very happy to see me – he would leap from his mother’s arms but after an hour or so he would realise that his mother wasn’t back yet, this realisation would be followed by incessant crying and sometimes screaming. In the time that I would babysit I was unable to eat, drink, wash or even use the loo and some days his mother would be at the hospital for 6 hours or more. During these few weeks I felt so depressed and useless, because I didn’t know what to do when he cried so much – sometimes I would cry too. During this time Gershwin, who is the other godparent, would visit me and look completely lost just as I was feeling. 

I think we both realised at this point that having children so young would be a nightmare, especially when you are inexperienced and haven’t handled babies extensively (and don't have money for all their needs). During those few days I also realised how real postnatal depression is and how it can become a real problem when you have no idea what to do. In some instances new mothers have killed their babies when they cannot keep them quiet. This is sad, but true. And yes, all mothers will experience "baby blues", but PND is scary and will only be alleviated with anti-depressants and therapy. 

This blog post was not meant to be negative, but it is rather just my way of expressing how much I have learned about motherhood and how real the issues new mothers face really are. This journey has also showed me how important a partner is when having a new baby. In the six weeks before the baptism, Gershwin and I, along with our godson's parents, had to attend baptism classes on a weekly basis. Whilst in these classes I saw mothers who were single parents and how sad they looked when all the others came as a couple, happy that they are new parents.  With a new baby and parenthood comes many challenges, and single parenthood doesn’t make these challenges any easier. It is so sad when the father ups and leaves before the baby even arrives or when things get a bit too rough. Also, there is a growing trend where the mother either leaves the baby with the father or simply abandons the baby, disposing of a precious life like it is a piece of dirt. Yes, PND could be the reason in mothers, but in some cases it’s just pure cowardice behaviour. And these parents must remember that no baby is a mistake and you cannot run away from it, but you can ensure that that baby has the best life you or adoptive parents can give it. 

When I think of this I remember how my mother always tells me, “It is all part of God’s greater plan for you”. With this in mind Jeremiah 29:11 resonates for me,” For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” This was said to my friend at his farewell gathering, but it has been in my mind since that evening and I believe it can be applied to this situation and to life. Not just for young parents, graduates or people living and work abroad, but for everyone.

The thrills of getting inked for the first time.

I have wanted a tattoo for a very long time and for the last three years I have changed my mind about what I want several times. However, I have always wanted a meaningful tattoo that I won't regret in years to come and on a spot on my body that will never really age. I always knew I would opt for my wrist or the back of my neck.

Eventually I decided that I didn't want a picture either but rather meaningful words.

Option 1: "Faith, Hope, Love" in a circular pattern on the back of my neck. But that tattoo was fast becoming a trend and quite frankly, a bit of a fad.

Option 2: "Believe" on my left wrist. However, when I made this design my BBM display picture someone else decided to steal it for their tattoo design. So I sat with a dilemma and decided to make it more meaningful.

Option 3: I went back to the "Faith, Hope, Love" idea, but decided to take it out of a Bible verse that included these words - 1 Corinthians 13: 13 which means "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love" (NIV).

Option 4: A year after choosing option 3 I was sitting in church one Sunday when our priest made reference to Psalm 23 throughout his sermon. The message of his sermon and the words from Psalm 23 really stuck in my head and I decided on that day, 2 months ago, that this would be my tattoo of choice.

On that Sunday I Googled lettering options for "Psalm 23" and came up with a design. On 24 July 2012 I visted Disciples Ink in Stellenbosch with my design in tow and they quoted me R300 for the tattoo because of its size. I went home that evening and discussed it with my family - my mom and sister didn't like the idea of me getting a tattoo on my wrist or neck and my dad was pretty chilled as always.

I drew R150 from my account on 1 August 2012 and put it away, and on 14 August 2012 my dad gave me all his old change and it amounted to almost R50. I just needed another R100 and then I could go ahead and make my appointment. On 17 August 2012 my mom gave me R100 and the following Monday I made my tattoo appointment for 29 August 2012.

Disciples Ink, Stellenbosch

I was never nervous at all and all I wondered about was the pain factor. So many people were telling me that I would cry and need to hold somebody's hand, some even went so far as to tell me I'm not brave enough to get a tattoo. But yesterday I proved everyone wrong and I think some people are still in a bit of shock.

My friend, Souad, was the most excited for me though and she couldn't wait for my appointment to arrive. I found it so cute that she was actually very nervous yesterday - to the point that she was literally shaking. She kept asking me if I'm okay and said that if I felt faint I should tell her. But I was feeling the complete opposite emotions to hers - I was cool, calm and not collected, but very excited! I couldn't contain my excitement and the adrenalin rush was amazing.

When I arrived I had to sign a release form and pay at the front of the shop. I handed over my design and the guy at the front desk made a special photo copy. He then sprayed a Dettol liquid on my arm, placed the stencil of the design on my arm and rubbed it until the design remained in the position I wanted it.

The stencil - 29 August 2012

After the stencil had dried, Johnathan, the tattoo artist had me sit on the comfortable chair as he explained what he would do and sterilised the area where he would be doing my tattoo.

When he began I expected a sharp, consistent pain but what I felt was something else. It felt awesome! My adrenalin was rushing and I felt no pain. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Afterwards they took pictures of the tattoo, wrapped it up and gave me aftercare instructions. All-in-all that was one of the best experiences of my life and I am so thankful that Souad came along to show her support and take some cool pictures. 

After being tattooed.

My tattoo is beautiful and it will have so much meaning to me and my life for as long as I live.

Psalm 23

This morning, 30 August 2012

A psalm of David.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
²     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever (NIV).

Me and surprises...

I really don't do well with surprises! Not at all... I can keep secrets, yes. And I am extremely trustworthy but often I will hint too much when it comes to big surprises.

So, Gershwin's 21st is in 2 weeks time and keeping all the little surprises I have in store hidden from him was difficult at first but is now proving to be quite fun and exciting! I watched his face tonight as he watched his favourite soccer team in action and smiled because I know that once he sees all his surprises his smile will be EVEN wider than it was this evening.

It's smiles like that, that make giving gifts, whether immaterial or not, worthwhile. 

I know I sound corny, but just watching someone open up a gift that you know they will love, is the BEST feeling in the world!  I love how their eyes widen and how their smile goes from ear-to-ear in a matter of seconds. 

From Katherine Marie's 52 Smiles - katherinemaries.com

Those are the little things in life I love to see - happy people - and happy because of something I did for them. Even if it's just a simple BBM, inbox, email, hug, a visit or surprising them with a batch of cupcakes.

You live and you learn...

Turns out my little bout of sickness for the last six months was in fact Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), which is triggered by stress and/or anxiety. Now I am someone who does not show their stress or anxiety externally - to everyone I am happy and cheerful, occasionally moody but I blame that on PMS - because I simply internalise this stress and anxiety, ultimately making myself sick. 

I stress about everything and I get frights for anything and everything - for real - someone raises their voice a little too much and I get a fright. It seems so funny to everyone but inside I'm actually feeling so much fear for those few seconds. Besides the frights, I stress about the fact that people I know are acting in ways that will be detrimental to their characters - making them appear rude, arrogant or obnoxious. When it gets to boiling point I always end up taking it out on Gersh, even though he is not at fault. However, being the amazing person that he is, he will hear me out and let me cry about it, if I must. 

I just cannot ignore things, I don't like letting things be. I especially hate when I can see how things will only get worse, but Gershwin being an extremely wise person will always offer me words of encouragement when things go seem to be going downhill. One day I was at breaking point and you know what he tells me? He says to ignore others, ignore their ill-mannered ways, ignore their mood swings and simply worry about myself only. He told me to put myself first. Since that day I have done what he has said, but the anxiety did not disappear because the things around me still bothered me subconsciously and actually made me sick.

I now have a run-down immune system because I haven't eaten properly in 6 weeks, this has led to me having a very bad bout of flu - so bad that I can't even breathe at night - but I have now learnt that sometimes I cannot and should not make other people's issues, bad attitudes or ill-manners my problem. It is theirs to sort out and if they have to learn the hard way, then so be it.

Today, I feel fives time better than I did last week and slowly that five will rise to 100. I realise now that in order for me to be healthy again I need to stay happy, positive and surround myself with love. My mother and Gershwin have both told me to not worry with others, and they let me vent which is all I sometimes need.

Through all of this I have learnt that anxiety and stress are unnecessary and bad for my health so from now on I will live for me, putting myself on top of my list. 

And no, I am not a pessimist - I am just a happy person who cares too much about others.

Elimination Diet is over but new problems have arrived...

So it's been four weeks since starting the elimination diet and after losing a few kilos I decided to indulge this past weekend - BAD IDEA! I felt really awesome all weekend, I even went to Spur, had burgers, chips and lots of cake and on Monday I had a yummy pumpkin fritter my sister made. To my horror the pumpkin fritter was drenched in oil and since that evening I have been experiencing intense indigestion.

My mom gave a homemade remedy to aid it and I've been at home all day (well, in the toilet actually) and everything I eat makes me REALLY full. I have only had two meals though, a slice of toast and a grilled chicken wrap with salad, yet I feel like I've eaten a whole host of fast foods.

I decided to write down everything I've eaten today and exactly how it is making me feel. This is such a gross experience and I can only hope that it will improve very soon.

Week 1: Elimination Diet

On Monday I visited the doctor for a check-up and to my horror I have been put on an elimination diet - it literally means eliminating foods and beverages that could aggravate my digestive problems. So either I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), which is aggravated by stress or I have a food intolerance. Now to ensure I do not get an ulcer I have to eat super healthy and make sure I stay away from tomatoes (or anything tomato-based), onions, spicy foods, gas soft drinks, alcohol and coffee. I wanted to cry when I heard that list! I absolutely love spicy foods (especially jalapeno poppers, spicy curries and chillies in olive oil and garlic) and coffee - freshly brewed filter coffees and cappuccinos being my favourite. I thought the first month would be difficult, turns out the first week has been horrid - I have serious withdrawal symptoms and only for coffee!

The only plus from this elimination diet is that I have already lost 1kg in this week. Will update you all as the elimination draws to a close and the weight melts off as I was instructed to start exercising again.

Wish me luck!

6 Years

These 6 years have probably been some of the BEST years of my life because of one special and truly remarkable person, my boyfriend and best friend, Gershwin.

Our Matric ball

He asked me out on 18 April 2006 outside the gates of our high school - at first our relationship was a huge shock to all our friends, class mates and teachers because he was so introverted and quiet while I was extroverted and crazy. But by Matric everyone knew about us and we were affectionately known as "Ouma and Oupa" because we had been dating so long.

21st Preparation

Soon it will be my much-awaited and anticipated 21st. I am anxious yet excited with all the planning and preparations going on around me and sometimes even over my head. I will sometimes come home and my mother and sister will have gone out and bought things for my 21st and come with ideas without asking because they're so excited!

One night I came home to my sister painting my vintage Coke bottles and my mom had a crate on one side filled with glasses, serviettes, doilies and other pretty things.

I cannot wait for my 21st but it is so unfortunate that I have exams in the weeks before my 21st and therefore I have had to tone down my excitement to focus on my studies. Yes, student life sucks but somebody has to pay the bills one day. That is another reason why most things have been left in the hands of my mother - I sincerely love and appreciate her excitement, it's actually quite cute.

However, I would like to share a little bit about my theme - it is Vintage. Most of the items at my party will be second hand or handmade - including my outfit, I hope. Even my cake is going to be specially and uniquely made - it will be based on the cake I found online though.

My invitations were also handmade and my envelopes had a special touch. Most of the invitations have already been delivered but with varsity and all my tests and assignments I forgot that I still have a stack to deliver!

What I sort of have in mind...?

But... I only have one problem - let's call it, the dress dilemma! I want a second-hand or thrift dress but finding one has proved to be quite challenging, the things I have found are either too old (that you'd struggle to make it look good with new items) or just too ugly! I approached a local vintage clothing site today though and am hoping for the best. Choosing an outfit is always the most difficult part, I suppose.

I know it's all going to go well and I can't wait to see my beautiful décor and just watch how everything falls in place. Thanks in advance to my mom, dad, Aunty Vanessa, Aunty Carol, my Pa, Ma and CJ for all their prep work!

Will keep you posted on the dress dilemma...

I am unique...

I believe I am a very unique and different person - I haven't met anyone who is exactly like me (not even my friends - they're all different and that's what I love about them), which is challenging in a society where many times people aspire to be like another person. Don't get me wrong, we are all unique, but I cannot help to notice that so many young people (the Y-Generation, in particular) are all dressing and acting in a similar way. Sometimes people even appear to be carbon copies of one another (and they're not even identical twins!)...

I'd rather walk around wearing my leather sandals and 'strange' dresses, skirts, t-shirts or complete outfits  and look like an individual than conform to the collectivist attitude all around me... I don't need to look like other people to feel good about me.


I thank my parents, boyfriend, sister and friends - Souad and Romana for embracing me for who I am :) - they are all as uniquely them as I am. 

My Commitments this Lent

I am not the most religious person, and for the last 7 months my faith has dwindled, but as of 2012 I have decided to start over and find my faith and spirituality again. 

It is important that in today's society I remain open-minded, particularly with my path of studies, I cannot for one minute allow myself to become ignorant. I have to keep my own faith strong, but still be open to engage with many diverse people of different religions, cultures and belief systems - I have friends and acquaintances who are agnostic, Muslim, Greek, non-denominational, born-again, and even atheist. For me people are people, regardless of their belief systems.  

Lent is the forty days leading up to Good Friday and Easter, when Christians prepare themselves as Jesus did before He was crucified to save humankind from their sins.

As a Catholic, I believe it is of utmost importance for myself to take the same journey my Lord and Saviour had taken before He died for my sins. As of last year I have started sacrificing small things (not to the extent that Jesus did, but I hope that with time I will do the same as He had done - sacrifice all food and lead a simple life for forty days and forty nights), last year I gave up meat and chicken and this year I have decided to give up meat, chicken and decided to strengthen my faith through weekly devotions and putting my name down to possibly be a reader during Sunday mass. 

I write about this not because I am an extremist who wants the world to do what I am attempting to do, but because I want to share my journey of strengthening my faith and spirituality, and hopefully not stray off this path - having to keep my blog updated about my spiritual journey will encourage me to strive on. 

If we live in the Spirit, 

let us also walk in the Spirit.

Galatians 5:25 NKJV