The thrills of getting inked for the first time.

I have wanted a tattoo for a very long time and for the last three years I have changed my mind about what I want several times. However, I have always wanted a meaningful tattoo that I won't regret in years to come and on a spot on my body that will never really age. I always knew I would opt for my wrist or the back of my neck.

Eventually I decided that I didn't want a picture either but rather meaningful words.

Option 1: "Faith, Hope, Love" in a circular pattern on the back of my neck. But that tattoo was fast becoming a trend and quite frankly, a bit of a fad.

Option 2: "Believe" on my left wrist. However, when I made this design my BBM display picture someone else decided to steal it for their tattoo design. So I sat with a dilemma and decided to make it more meaningful.

Option 3: I went back to the "Faith, Hope, Love" idea, but decided to take it out of a Bible verse that included these words - 1 Corinthians 13: 13 which means "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love" (NIV).

Option 4: A year after choosing option 3 I was sitting in church one Sunday when our priest made reference to Psalm 23 throughout his sermon. The message of his sermon and the words from Psalm 23 really stuck in my head and I decided on that day, 2 months ago, that this would be my tattoo of choice.

On that Sunday I Googled lettering options for "Psalm 23" and came up with a design. On 24 July 2012 I visted Disciples Ink in Stellenbosch with my design in tow and they quoted me R300 for the tattoo because of its size. I went home that evening and discussed it with my family - my mom and sister didn't like the idea of me getting a tattoo on my wrist or neck and my dad was pretty chilled as always.

I drew R150 from my account on 1 August 2012 and put it away, and on 14 August 2012 my dad gave me all his old change and it amounted to almost R50. I just needed another R100 and then I could go ahead and make my appointment. On 17 August 2012 my mom gave me R100 and the following Monday I made my tattoo appointment for 29 August 2012.

Disciples Ink, Stellenbosch

I was never nervous at all and all I wondered about was the pain factor. So many people were telling me that I would cry and need to hold somebody's hand, some even went so far as to tell me I'm not brave enough to get a tattoo. But yesterday I proved everyone wrong and I think some people are still in a bit of shock.

My friend, Souad, was the most excited for me though and she couldn't wait for my appointment to arrive. I found it so cute that she was actually very nervous yesterday - to the point that she was literally shaking. She kept asking me if I'm okay and said that if I felt faint I should tell her. But I was feeling the complete opposite emotions to hers - I was cool, calm and not collected, but very excited! I couldn't contain my excitement and the adrenalin rush was amazing.

When I arrived I had to sign a release form and pay at the front of the shop. I handed over my design and the guy at the front desk made a special photo copy. He then sprayed a Dettol liquid on my arm, placed the stencil of the design on my arm and rubbed it until the design remained in the position I wanted it.

The stencil - 29 August 2012

After the stencil had dried, Johnathan, the tattoo artist had me sit on the comfortable chair as he explained what he would do and sterilised the area where he would be doing my tattoo.

When he began I expected a sharp, consistent pain but what I felt was something else. It felt awesome! My adrenalin was rushing and I felt no pain. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Afterwards they took pictures of the tattoo, wrapped it up and gave me aftercare instructions. All-in-all that was one of the best experiences of my life and I am so thankful that Souad came along to show her support and take some cool pictures. 

After being tattooed.

My tattoo is beautiful and it will have so much meaning to me and my life for as long as I live.

Psalm 23

This morning, 30 August 2012

A psalm of David.

¹ The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
²     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
³     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,

I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever (NIV).

Me and surprises...

I really don't do well with surprises! Not at all... I can keep secrets, yes. And I am extremely trustworthy but often I will hint too much when it comes to big surprises.

So, Gershwin's 21st is in 2 weeks time and keeping all the little surprises I have in store hidden from him was difficult at first but is now proving to be quite fun and exciting! I watched his face tonight as he watched his favourite soccer team in action and smiled because I know that once he sees all his surprises his smile will be EVEN wider than it was this evening.

It's smiles like that, that make giving gifts, whether immaterial or not, worthwhile. 

I know I sound corny, but just watching someone open up a gift that you know they will love, is the BEST feeling in the world!  I love how their eyes widen and how their smile goes from ear-to-ear in a matter of seconds. 

From Katherine Marie's 52 Smiles - katherinemaries.com

Those are the little things in life I love to see - happy people - and happy because of something I did for them. Even if it's just a simple BBM, inbox, email, hug, a visit or surprising them with a batch of cupcakes.

You live and you learn...

Turns out my little bout of sickness for the last six months was in fact Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), which is triggered by stress and/or anxiety. Now I am someone who does not show their stress or anxiety externally - to everyone I am happy and cheerful, occasionally moody but I blame that on PMS - because I simply internalise this stress and anxiety, ultimately making myself sick. 

I stress about everything and I get frights for anything and everything - for real - someone raises their voice a little too much and I get a fright. It seems so funny to everyone but inside I'm actually feeling so much fear for those few seconds. Besides the frights, I stress about the fact that people I know are acting in ways that will be detrimental to their characters - making them appear rude, arrogant or obnoxious. When it gets to boiling point I always end up taking it out on Gersh, even though he is not at fault. However, being the amazing person that he is, he will hear me out and let me cry about it, if I must. 

I just cannot ignore things, I don't like letting things be. I especially hate when I can see how things will only get worse, but Gershwin being an extremely wise person will always offer me words of encouragement when things go seem to be going downhill. One day I was at breaking point and you know what he tells me? He says to ignore others, ignore their ill-mannered ways, ignore their mood swings and simply worry about myself only. He told me to put myself first. Since that day I have done what he has said, but the anxiety did not disappear because the things around me still bothered me subconsciously and actually made me sick.

I now have a run-down immune system because I haven't eaten properly in 6 weeks, this has led to me having a very bad bout of flu - so bad that I can't even breathe at night - but I have now learnt that sometimes I cannot and should not make other people's issues, bad attitudes or ill-manners my problem. It is theirs to sort out and if they have to learn the hard way, then so be it.

Today, I feel fives time better than I did last week and slowly that five will rise to 100. I realise now that in order for me to be healthy again I need to stay happy, positive and surround myself with love. My mother and Gershwin have both told me to not worry with others, and they let me vent which is all I sometimes need.

Through all of this I have learnt that anxiety and stress are unnecessary and bad for my health so from now on I will live for me, putting myself on top of my list. 

And no, I am not a pessimist - I am just a happy person who cares too much about others.

Elimination Diet is over but new problems have arrived...

So it's been four weeks since starting the elimination diet and after losing a few kilos I decided to indulge this past weekend - BAD IDEA! I felt really awesome all weekend, I even went to Spur, had burgers, chips and lots of cake and on Monday I had a yummy pumpkin fritter my sister made. To my horror the pumpkin fritter was drenched in oil and since that evening I have been experiencing intense indigestion.

My mom gave a homemade remedy to aid it and I've been at home all day (well, in the toilet actually) and everything I eat makes me REALLY full. I have only had two meals though, a slice of toast and a grilled chicken wrap with salad, yet I feel like I've eaten a whole host of fast foods.

I decided to write down everything I've eaten today and exactly how it is making me feel. This is such a gross experience and I can only hope that it will improve very soon.

Week 1: Elimination Diet

On Monday I visited the doctor for a check-up and to my horror I have been put on an elimination diet - it literally means eliminating foods and beverages that could aggravate my digestive problems. So either I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), which is aggravated by stress or I have a food intolerance. Now to ensure I do not get an ulcer I have to eat super healthy and make sure I stay away from tomatoes (or anything tomato-based), onions, spicy foods, gas soft drinks, alcohol and coffee. I wanted to cry when I heard that list! I absolutely love spicy foods (especially jalapeno poppers, spicy curries and chillies in olive oil and garlic) and coffee - freshly brewed filter coffees and cappuccinos being my favourite. I thought the first month would be difficult, turns out the first week has been horrid - I have serious withdrawal symptoms and only for coffee!

The only plus from this elimination diet is that I have already lost 1kg in this week. Will update you all as the elimination draws to a close and the weight melts off as I was instructed to start exercising again.

Wish me luck!

6 Years

These 6 years have probably been some of the BEST years of my life because of one special and truly remarkable person, my boyfriend and best friend, Gershwin.

Our Matric ball

He asked me out on 18 April 2006 outside the gates of our high school - at first our relationship was a huge shock to all our friends, class mates and teachers because he was so introverted and quiet while I was extroverted and crazy. But by Matric everyone knew about us and we were affectionately known as "Ouma and Oupa" because we had been dating so long.

21st Preparation

Soon it will be my much-awaited and anticipated 21st. I am anxious yet excited with all the planning and preparations going on around me and sometimes even over my head. I will sometimes come home and my mother and sister will have gone out and bought things for my 21st and come with ideas without asking because they're so excited!

One night I came home to my sister painting my vintage Coke bottles and my mom had a crate on one side filled with glasses, serviettes, doilies and other pretty things.

I cannot wait for my 21st but it is so unfortunate that I have exams in the weeks before my 21st and therefore I have had to tone down my excitement to focus on my studies. Yes, student life sucks but somebody has to pay the bills one day. That is another reason why most things have been left in the hands of my mother - I sincerely love and appreciate her excitement, it's actually quite cute.

However, I would like to share a little bit about my theme - it is Vintage. Most of the items at my party will be second hand or handmade - including my outfit, I hope. Even my cake is going to be specially and uniquely made - it will be based on the cake I found online though.

My invitations were also handmade and my envelopes had a special touch. Most of the invitations have already been delivered but with varsity and all my tests and assignments I forgot that I still have a stack to deliver!

What I sort of have in mind...?

But... I only have one problem - let's call it, the dress dilemma! I want a second-hand or thrift dress but finding one has proved to be quite challenging, the things I have found are either too old (that you'd struggle to make it look good with new items) or just too ugly! I approached a local vintage clothing site today though and am hoping for the best. Choosing an outfit is always the most difficult part, I suppose.

I know it's all going to go well and I can't wait to see my beautiful décor and just watch how everything falls in place. Thanks in advance to my mom, dad, Aunty Vanessa, Aunty Carol, my Pa, Ma and CJ for all their prep work!

Will keep you posted on the dress dilemma...